blog post Inspiration Uncategorized

Running Addiction Really???

BLOG This has to be the most accurate article I have read in quite some time… It describes my life almost precisely and I will explain…     A few years ago I was top of my game, I was running like a mad woman… I have always been in love with this sport, heck I didn’t think of any consequences of doing it too often, and was there a such a thing? A such thing it is, and I am living proof of it. And what’s so sad is I got signs from all my friends and even people I did not know to slow down on things Steph, you are doing way to much you’re gonna end up out of this game. No no no, I was in this competitive mind state, and I just loved it! But then ole injury comes a knocking!   The first injury I should say came, but you know me, I wasn’t going out like that so I came back swinging as usual and got right back at it. I can do this was all my thinking, then the heartbreak came. The guy I was dating tore my little heart to shreds… Did this stop me, NO WAY! Keep going Steph you have so much to prove to people, you have been down a rough road or two before and you can do all this STUFF!!! What the hell was I really thinking??   When that tragic year ended I moved into another awesome year. But I moved into this year with many injuries I overlooked and still avoiding absolutely hell bent to do everything. I did slow my roll a little but I was meeting so many wonderful people in the running industry at this time and I was in ah of all this running stuff… I continued to run and do all I could do, and at this point I was making a real difference in the sport, then all of a sudden it happened…   I began experiencing a type of chronic fatigue is all I can explain it as, and I had never experienced anything like it before. I could barely breath on my runs, my weightlifting wasn’t as bad but it did suffer, I wasn’t the top of the game like before and I could barely hit those dirtroads I loved so much to run, I just had no desire whatsoever. Well, I shrugged it all off hell and took me some vitamins and carried on my way. Then OMG, my hair began falling out in clumps. So I started looking at my diet, hell I eat like a horse I couldn’t seem to figure this all out…I HAD to stop!   I gave this a little bit of time and jumped right back into working, writing and networking with people late in the night. I wasn’t getting the proper sleep and began running and working out like a mad woman again. I was traveling so often modeling, taking appointments with people to do modeling events, but still doing all my running, training and even training for The Boston Marathon, I was invincible baby… I had to keep up with all these things happening in my life, I absolutely had to…But then there was yet another problem. The little issue I have had with my hip which I kept avoiding for so long just figuring it would go away, wouldn’t! It left me feeling so drained of my energy and just aching nonstop. But did I stop? Of course not, I had to train for Boston for Christs sakes… Go girl go is all I could say to myself.     I trained, made it through Boston, but hurting and junked up on Advil the hole entire race. My point is I never listened to my body and even the world around me speak so loudly. I was experiencing burnout of burnouts, a total burnout, mind, body and my spirit was gone! I was working my ass

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off all the time with my mind going 90 miles an hour, little sleep, still tearing down the body with overtraining, and of all things my spirit was being broken into through the pain and struggle.   I finally regrouped, dusted my *ss off and came back but much much slower. And finally I am happy with it all! I don’t have that competitive mind any longer, I have given all this time and see clearly that I have no one to impress but myself and I am happy. But I am also happy that I have given enough time to see and want that part of me again that I thought may be gone.     Now when I receive the messages from my runner buds asking me just what the heck I am doing now a days I have no problem at all saying its time off to reflect upon myself and my priorities of life…I say it with confidence now because I know I will be back like always swinging strong… Because I believe life has an amazing way of showing you things that need attention and when you (speaking for myself here) do not choose to take the nudge life lays you flat on your *ss to regroup, refocus and learn…     To end my entry I will say being a MINDFUL runner is key, but the problem with this simply is that it takes us runners many kicks in the *ss to get to this place… But you know what my motto is, Never Give Up, Never Give In, Never Stop Trying, NEVER EVER GIVE UP, because once you’re addicted to this stuff there’s no turning back only refocusing in on its true significance. Run STRONG! photo (82)        

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