This year has been a complete year of transformation for me. I talk all the time of how aware I have become of the people who have stepped into my life this year and the lessons each of them have taught me. Today is mid December 2015 and I can say confidently that I have evolved so proficiently since the Stephanie that began 2015.
I first noticed this self-awareness with some running partners I shared the road running with… They each showed me a piece of myself that needed some work. Once I recognized this and could work on this part of Stephanie, these people magically drifted out of my life, but in a good way. One specific lesson I was taught on the road running was that running without a purpose was completely irrelevant for me…. Once I cultivated this knowledge on myself I could honestly look at it in other people and see their self-destruction a mile away….
The next stepping stone of self-awareness I began to notice was in the children I was training. The first child I trained had so many big dreams. She was sitting in a small town with all these dreams and all this knowledge and capability to make her dreams come true. But she lacked the confidence to walk all over these energy suckers who beat the spirit out of her to make her dreams a reality. The advice I handed this child was to keep going no matter what. That life does take having thick skin and this process of life is preparing us by giving us people who criticize and hate on us that give us a strong back and thick skin. I remember telling her to not absorb those negative hateful remarks she heard, just smile and walk on with the knowledge of that fact…. Training this child was such a blessing for my life, I looked forward to mentoring and training her each week just because she helped me in ways she was so unaware of…The message I cultivated in her was to keep swinging no matter what, and use good or bad words to your advantage…
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ~Epictetus
Another awareness I had this year was something I have been aware of all my life but it was brought to my attention through a whole bunch of pain from family, loved ones, and random strangers. This was the fact that not everyone would believe in your dream, even if they saw you at a vulnerable state in your life. I had many ups and many many downs this year… I have had some excellent experiences with great runners, great actors, great photographers, you name it, and it was an amazing experience. But I also had those moments of despair… Moments of not knowing my next decision, moments of being the single mom with no one to depend on, those moments of being judged, and on and on and on…. But I kept my why in my mind through each of those desperate moments and I would always hear in the back of my mind, Stephanie its ok, you are going to be fine. These were the words I was reaching for from those friends family and loved ones and never received…. The lesson I received in not receiving those words and support was so helpful to my life actually… It helped me see that I didn’t come this far to fail…And helped me to hear the voice deep inside myself that has been telling me this for so very long…
“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” ~Roman Price
And another self awareness I am learning more on each day now is, courage. I opened a new chapter in my life this year. I began my Brain Trauma Organization, or I should say I was finally approved for it. The sole mission for my organization is to help bring awareness of brain trauma while encouraging and inspiring people’s lives who have been affected by this silent epidemic. This org is so important to my soul, and I say this only because I lived 2 months of my life in a coma from a brain injury and I had to learn to walk again among other things from that same injury. So I know with every ounce of my soul, this mission is something needed in our world… My belief on life is that we are given hard moments to overcome and then to give back, not to sweep under the rug and grind on with life and forget about it, to never use it…
Since I have started this org I have had quite the interruptions and it has been a lot of work for me, which I don’t mind at all. I discuss most of my work I do with my running coach/mentor Frank. I did a training run with him yesterday and he made a statement that made so much sense to me about this. He said to me, Stephanie you will continually have obstacles placed in your path no matter what you do in life. He said weather you are training for this marathon or building your business. Things will happen to distort your message, it is how you Stand through that storm that will determine how your run or your business will go….
I looked at him and smiled so big because he knew I normally have a quick temper when it comes to this organization because I have blood sweat and many tears all over it… I looked over at him and said softly, I do understand what you are saying…. He looked back at me and smiled because he knew I had finally got it! And I got it because I have had so many people come into my life since I have begun doing something positive to help benefit the world that has tried to break my focus and tear my message to shreds, but running with him that day I felt a light shining down on me because I was proud I have handled each situation professionally and with a lot of integrity.
“In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.” ~Dalai Lama
To end my entry I will say I am closing the chapter of 2015 with a smile! It has been a wonderful year of recognizing my good and bad points. And I am fully aware that each individual that has come into my life this year has been of value to me and helping me to become this Stephanie I was created to be! And I look forward to bringing in this brand new chapter of 2016….
Never Give Up, Never Give In, Never Stop Trying, Never EVER Give Up!!!