Tomorrow, July 28th, 2014 I begin my 36th year of life… I have officially been on this earth for almost four decades and this is amazing to me because I feel like life is just beginning some days. To honor this day I decided to share 36 pieces of absolute truths I have cultivated through my awesome journey of life… Enjoy!
STEPHANIE’S 36 BEAUTIFUL TRUTHS…
1. “You are already that which you long to be.”
Stop it, just stop! Stop wishing you were more or even less! You are perfect, who gives a sh*t what anyone else thinks. You have so much to offer and if someone doesn’t like it who cares… So what if it takes you a while to realize this, trust the process, you will eventually realize this!
2. “The very moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone, walk away.”
Value is a big word for me! You can feel value of a person that is standing next to you. If someone doesn’t accept your value, do not waste energy on trying to make them… Simply walk away and add value to the world else where, invest that energy where it will pay off.
3. “Find your excitement in life, and live it.”
Since my accident I have had a passion for working out and then I took up running. I am gradually incorporating public speaking into this equation, and this has always made me light up inside and out, and I have always felt this push to do more of these things. Figure out just what it is that makes you light up and do it! Always choose in favor of that push you feel inside it will never lead you astray…
4. “Take it all one day, one moment at a time… life is not a race, enjoy the journey called life.”
Too many times we don’t take the time to slow down and enjoy our life….I have been a single mom for so long and always thought I had to do everything, and I am a runner, time is of the friggin essence was my thinking… I have finally taken a deep breath and said everything is going to be fine! I have slowed down and actually seen how beautiful life is and I also see things I have missed living that non-stop lifestyle. I was so good at going fast with things, I found it was the slowness of life I needed the work with… Life has showed me slowness through injury after injury so listen to your life.
5. “Learn to let it all go, and with a big smile.”
I finally found freedom when I achieved this very technique! It’s exhilarating I promise… Looking back I realize my biggest challenge has always been learning to let go. I put so much energy into trying to control my body, my relationships, and my future and I wasn’t able to relax and enjoy what was happening right now. Once I conquered this technique I see that when you let go things do happen… We have a choice, we can let it all go or be pulled, and I chose to let most of the bs I had to deal with go because I am WAY too strong to be pulled…
6. “Patience really is a top virtue, and is worth trying.”
As the saying goes… It might take a year; it might take a day, what’s meant to be will always find its way…. Is in fact true ya’ll if you stay the course and maintain a good attitude with it, it does happen!
7. “Don’t be afraid of that path less traveled, it’s so worth it.”
If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. For so many years I thought I had to be normal, I had to be like the normal mom or heck just the normal person… Honestly I have to say being the non-traditional mother, woman, and person in general is awesome to me! I admire those people who live this way and I am proud I do not let the criticism get me down… I OWN the fact that I am a non-traditional individual and love it!
8. “When you fall, and you will, pick your *ss back up and dust it off and keep going even harder.”
Failures are our stepping stones; this is hard to believe when we are falling. Without them, we’ll never learn how to succeed. I have fallen so many times and at so much, but my determined hard headed mind never gives up on much of anything, I always dust my *ss off and keep going and I am so very thankful for this quality and I am also very thankful that I see the same quality in my son…
9. “Rest, really is best.”
Where oh where should I begin with this? As I sit here and type this in pain from a running injury from not resting, I say this only from experience! I was told 10 years ago how to treat this condition I have with my hip, did I listen? NO WAY! I continued and ran and ran and ran… Now here I am sidelined, but not miserable… I have accepted the responsibility is all my own… Take this advice REST when you are tired and beat up from training its better to take a few weeks even a whole year off than to never do your sport again… Pain is a sign from life to listen, when you don’t it leads you in directions you do not wish to go… That whole run through the pain saying is complete BULL SH*T pay no mind to those people saying it, and trust your gutt! Enought said on this! lol
10. “Make the most of BAD jobs”
We’ve all had them, trust me on this… I have talked about this so much and it really is the most important thing I think I have ever done. Leaving a working situation that was not of value to me and my purpose. I worked in dentistry for 10 years and felt of NO value whatsoever to this profession. Sure I had an amazing smile, but I never one day felt of value until the day I left it. I remember vividly after leaving that hectic dental office with those hateful attitudes feeling a sense of freedom, and being able to sleep well at night! After leaving that profession I can say that it taught me such a great lesson that I utilize on a daily basis and I share with everyone… That is to always always associate yourself with valuable people, valuable situations, jobs, whatever it is, if your value isn’t in it take yourself the heck out of the situation… It’s so simple!
11. “Family can be anyone.”
I have learned this lesson oh so the hard way but like most everything else I shrug it off and drive on toward my goals. I have people in my life that have been there for me through thick and thin I consider my family even if they are not my blood. I say all the time I would take a bullet for some of these people, I have also learned to cherish people that are true to you through your hard times because most people turn and run when they see red, and that does include your family…So my advice here is treasure those people who are there for you with your hard times because as we get older I am learning they become more and more slim to none…
12.”Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.”
I have made quite a few changes these past few years in my quest and as I am working on this new quest I have had quite the discomforts along with them all… What I have gathered is change is something that will happen no matter what we do and the discomfort level will be just as hard for us the more we resist change…. So go with the change accept and embrace it… All will be good is what my saying is if you hold true to your core values and I believe this to my bones baby!!!!
13. “Find clarity in your life however you can”
However you find it, go for it and do it NOW. I found my clarity through running, reading and connecting with like minded people. My advice is find it however you can because peace of mind is absolutely priceless…
14. “Live your life with value”
Keep what is true to you always and never let anyone take that from you. This is a biggie, if you see or feel the presence of something that will make you question yourself or your values of life, walk away from it with grace… I have learned over the past few years some places I have always longed to associate myself with were totally not what I wanted… So my advice here is do your homework on places and people you want to associate with… I learned this lesson the hard way folks so take this is coming from a pro!
15. “Look for the lesson in every situation, the good and the bad without holding those grudges.”
I put my trust in some people/friends over this past year and I discovered some pretty harsh truths. Of course, it did anger me but I saw peace in it as I drove away from the situation. I saw this person dealing with her own monsters but I also felt life using this situation to push me in another direction… Point being there’s always a lesson in the bad or the good! Pay attention to it!
16. “Wake up to who you are”
I harp on this so often too. Get real with everyone, especially yourself. The hardest thing I think I have faced in my life and I am a bit embarrassed to admit this is discovering exactly who this person I am actually is, even after all I have been through in this lifetime! We allow society, friends, family, coworkers, hell just anyone to mold us into who we think we should be. When its so damn simple! So here ya go…. BE YOURSELF! Screw what everyone thinks of you, ruin your reputation, love who you want to, live out freakin loud and do it in style babyyyyyy! Because it’s all YOU, and it’s authentic and it’s a rare thing these days… Being inauthentic is the biggest cause of stress, or it sure was for me….
17. “Realize your power and use it constructively, not destructively.”
I believe we are all put on this planet to fulfill a purpose in life. Finding our purpose is one of the hardest things we think we will ever find! WRONG, it’s our passion, follow it, and use it constructively… When you love to do something and most of all if your good at it, share it with people… We are not put here to hoard shit up! Life isn’t a race to the finish, or it isn’t for me anyway… lol
18. “Have meaningful relationships.”
Now that I have reached the big 36 I proudly say I have graduated from the short term friendship and boyfriends stage. I believe it is essential to our well-being to have connectedness with our friends through meaningful relationships. One of the best things I have ever done is weed out those bad relationships I had in my life. I continue to stay connected to people that make a powerful impact on my soul. I don’t care if those people are right next door or all the way around the world, I stay connected. Some excellent advice is learn how to establish deeper connections with people its therapy for the soul…
19. “Forgive and move on.”
I’ve accomplished this well with a lot in my life, although it is still a work in process for me. I mean for Christ sakes my ex husband and I are friends now and I talk to the bastard on almost a weekly basis and it isn’t in a hateful manner…. Lol Seriously though forgiving is such a freeing experience for yourself… #ExperienceSpeaking
20. “Karma, it is real.”
I’ve seen it happen way too often for myself and for others. If you give more, you’ll get more this is some of the wisest words I can say. This circle of life is a promise not a guess…
21. “Face it, those dirty truths about yourself.”
Go ahead and do it, face them head on… Think about those things you absolutely hate in friends or family and realize those are dirty filthy truths about your own self you have to overcome, it isn’t them. They are only there showing you that part of yourself! FACE IT! Believe me when I say this because over the past 2 years I dug really deep inside myself and faced some really harsh monsters of my own…. I realized all this blame and hurt I have always felt was Stephanie! Doing this work was a soul cleanse for me.OMG I remember a morning so vividly I woke up and my mind was completely clear! I thought I was sick hahaha But then I also felt I had wings….
22. “Feel the Fear and jump your *ss in the fire anyway.”
Opportunities are all around us. I have had so many through my life I wished I had taken but I let this b*tich of an emotion called fear hold me back… Today I proudly say I have overcome that emotion, I embrace it and I dance through the fire!!! I refuse to say what if ever again!!
23. “Become aware of the good and bad energy around you.”
We all have those people who bring a smile to our face no matter what situation we are in. Then we have those energy suckers that we know are gonna be Negative Nancy’s as soon as they step in the room. Become aware of them… Good energy is amazing and that bad energy is just as strong so keeping far from it is a wise move…
24. “Listen before you speak.”
This is something that really gets on my last nerve. Being in a conversation with someone and you can’t get one word out with them because they are constantly trying to talk over you. This is how I eliminated one of those toxic type friends because no matter what was going on if she came to me to talk the moment I began talking geezzz she had done it and done it 10 times better… It is my honest opinion that I do not have very much to give anyone but my attention is something I know I CAN give… So shut up and listen for a change it doesn’t kill you!
25. “Live a totally inspired life.”
I surround myself with people I find of value and inspiration always! It brings me joy to be around people who share the same interest as me and can give me chills as they speak. And this can be of just sweeping the floor, if they are sincere and compassionate people it impacts my life. I say all the time it is an honor to spend time with someone who makes a powerful impact on a life. I highly recommend this to everyone!
26. “Find beauty all around you.”
Growing up I never saw any beauty in the trees or birds or really nothing here in this southern part of the world I have grown up. Today I am mesmerized by the skies and the trees…. I visited one of my friends recently and I made him stop and let me take pictures of the trees as we drove down the road they were so beautiful!
27. “Detox your life”
When I say “Detox” I mean so many different things… Over the past few years I have detoxed my life in so many different directions from the food I eat to the people and my surroundings. I have found when one part of your life is toxic you magnetize many other toxic things… My beliefs are if you are clear of the toxic mess life flows much easier in all areas…
28. “Dig deep inside yourself and find your strength it is there.”
Strength is so beautiful to me! We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for… We can move mountains with our strength and I know this first-hand!
29. “Stand tall to what you believe in, and do not be afraid to step away from what you don’t.”
I say I have outgrown the confrontational side of myself, so when prejudice or judgments arise I have learned to step away from them without any fuss… Very unlike my old self I must say…Today I simply walk away with a clean mind and a smile because I know it’s ignorance. In the same sense don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, if you believe in something or someone, stand beside them, have that staying power! Don’t give up so easily!
30. “Unfortunately everyone will not like you, and this is ok.”
It is true, we all want to be loved, but you can’t value every relationship the same, and thus you can’t expect everyone to love you the same. I have spent so much of my life trying to make people see my value and like me, man oh man did I waste energy doing stupid stuff I see now. Luckily now days I can say I offer my value to people if it isn’t accepted with open arms I generally motor on my way without the wasted energy… “I don’t have time to worry about who doesn’t like me. I’m too busy loving the people who love me.”
31. “Change is a MUST”
Change is a hard thing for most people to deal with. I would say 80% of people do not change their life because of the fear of it, maybe more… Well, I have always known there was more for my life… I have always known there was more than my small town life… But I always follow that statement up with how thankful I am for my small town life… But it doesn’t make me afraid of the change from it whatsoever…
32. “Break free from caring what everyone thinks.”
When you can break free from the opinions of what everyone around you think, WOW, you truly experience freedom like no other. Here’s my experience speaking only again, because I was always the gal who cared so much what everyone thought. Well, I have officially turned the page and from the bottom of my heart can say I do not give a sh*t what anyone thinks anymore and it’s exhilarating to say the least! Lol
33. “Humble yourself or life will humble it for you.”
I’ve never in my life understood the saying “Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know” so much as I do now. I have thought that to myself over this past year so much it is unreal, and I never honestly understood what this even meant until now. If there is anything at all I have found to be true through all I have accomplished it is that confidence blended with humility is most appreciated by everybody although it is the rarest thing to find… I do not know about you but I don’t enjoy being around someone who brags on themselves all the time… It is nauseating for me!
34. “Your life is your message to the world, make it a positive one.”
We all have a message we are conveying in some way to the world around us. By sharing our truths whatever they may be we can change this world and in turn we invite the world to unfold its greatness to us… So the advice I say is make your life inspiring always! Do not let anyone belittle you or make you afraid of speaking your truths!
35. “When you least expect it something great comes along”
One of my favorite quotations I have read over and over throughout this year is, “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours “ ~ Henry David Thorough
I have found this quote to be so true when you follow your path with complete and full purpose! I have had some great accomplishments over this year just by following my dream, and sure I have had to sacrifice but my dream stayed my focus and I have always been completely and fully purpose driven with it all.
last but not least….
36. “Determination, Willingness, and Work… Here are your keys to success/happiness”
In this exact order. Being determined to make a difference with something but also you have to be willing to do what it takes to make that difference and then work your total *ss off to get there… Follow this regimen and then feel the flow!
Age 35 has been one amazing year by far for this ole gal. I have learned so much just within a year and I am so very thankful for it all. But I continue to open myself up to learn more as I grow and I look forward to blazing my trail forward throughout my 36th year and stepping into this new adventurer in my life…Never Give Up, Never Give In, Never Stop Trying, NEVER EVER GIVE UP!